Saturday, December 10, 2011
Friday, December 9, 2011
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Monday, November 28, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
These are the nights where the green room is quiet and sound effects like thunder and rain permeate the loudspeakers
The ladies of the wardrobe crew sit and text, play solitaire and my personal favorite catch up on their weekly television during ACT 1
Funny how two worlds exist side by side one make believe and one very much the reality of the waiting game
Don't get me wrong I love this, this predictability and mundanity, the pattern
Sometimes i just wish it was me telling the story
Get a chance to not get lip from people who think they're entitled to my helping them with the simplest things
I love the responsibility and feeling of being needed but there is such a thing as making me do the run around for something when there is no need.
The ladies of the wardrobe crew sit and text, play solitaire and my personal favorite catch up on their weekly television during ACT 1
Funny how two worlds exist side by side one make believe and one very much the reality of the waiting game
Don't get me wrong I love this, this predictability and mundanity, the pattern
Sometimes i just wish it was me telling the story
Get a chance to not get lip from people who think they're entitled to my helping them with the simplest things
I love the responsibility and feeling of being needed but there is such a thing as making me do the run around for something when there is no need.
Monday, October 17, 2011
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Sunday, October 9, 2011
sitting outside under the glow of neon lights sharing in my friend's recent obsession with mo-town under a cloudy sky that doesn't give out stars for to the untrained eye makes me realize that maybe the ground underneath my feet is more solid than i thought. Work is going well, my show is in good shape to open after a rather good tech rehearsal tonight, my friends are all alive and well with their quirks and oddities, academically nothing i can't handle if i sit down and just do it. Next weekend my parents are coming to see me perform after 2 years of me being backstage, so life is good or at least it is in this moment. I'm a bit worried as to my health because my drive to exercise is kind of non existent and i feel like i'm letting myself down but also somethings just need time to be rediscovered...maybe tonight...
xoxo
stars and the moon
xoxo
stars and the moon
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Here's to a Year...raise a glass
So here's to sophomore year at college (raise a whiskey sour, mint julep, margarita, or hell a nice glass of white chardonnay if you so wish). It's been a bit tougher adjusting for this lady... thinking aint the same as doing so keep busy. THANK GOD FOR FRIENDS! Definitely missed ma ladies Laur and Mama D so finding them was like a weight lifted off my shoulders. Making new friends like all those freshmen who have taken to calling me momma bear (yall are so cute), and reconnecting with old lost connections. On the job front i'm doing work study this semester as costume shop assistant/ wardrobe and makeup supervisor for the main stages this semester. It's like meditation, the sound of the sewing machine humming steadily as i try for the 3rd time to maintain a 5/8 of an inch seam allowance. Or the steady smoothing of wig hair as it gets revived from years spend in a closet only to be thought of at the drop of a hat. Along those lines i have also been cast in my first theatrical endeavor...no not the mainstage but a student workshop directed by my friend Marge. We're putting on a production of "you me and wii" by sue townsend and the old lady will be played by yours truly. So far i'm enjoying it even though it's proving to be hard work. I guess being out of practice doesn't help but the lines are what kill me the most...today will be spent learning them like the back of my hand! Classes are fine. I'm enjoying my english, french, and voice classes but my politics of the 1960's class is really throwing me for a loop. so we'll see. For now i'll finish this episode of law and order and then take of my facemask and go to bed. Gnight to you too...or goodmorning :)
Monday, October 3, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Friday, September 23, 2011
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Friday, September 16, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
Sunday, September 11, 2011
What I Know...
I remember when the biggest thing was missing choir practice
I remember being confused as to why mom was crying and the sigh of relief when dad walked out of the train station in one piece
I remember not understanding it
How could i? i was 9...
How do you expect a 9 year old to understand that the world is a dangerous place sometimes and that amid all its beauty it hides the ugly facets quite well?
How do you expect a 9 year old to understand that there are people out there who wish hurt on everyone and that these fights are bigger than not sharing the swings during recess?
How do you expect a 9 year old to understand that things have changed when everything still looks the same?
I wouldn't know either...
and so now when people talk of the 10 year anniversary and remembering my inner 9 year old says...yea that's the day i wasn't at choir from 3-6
... and my 19 year old brain says i understand now...
I remember being confused as to why mom was crying and the sigh of relief when dad walked out of the train station in one piece
I remember not understanding it
How could i? i was 9...
How do you expect a 9 year old to understand that the world is a dangerous place sometimes and that amid all its beauty it hides the ugly facets quite well?
How do you expect a 9 year old to understand that there are people out there who wish hurt on everyone and that these fights are bigger than not sharing the swings during recess?
How do you expect a 9 year old to understand that things have changed when everything still looks the same?
I wouldn't know either...
and so now when people talk of the 10 year anniversary and remembering my inner 9 year old says...yea that's the day i wasn't at choir from 3-6
... and my 19 year old brain says i understand now...
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Friday, August 19, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
Some People...
So as some of y'all may or may not know, in which case i'm telling you now, I have been actively yoga-ing for around 3 months now and have never felt better! today though...ugh i literally could have gone crow on this lady's ass next to me! i understand that you need to breath, i do too and yes i breath loudly also, but when it sounds like you are having a baby or practicing for lamaze class in my ear I am not a happy yogi. It also throws me off and i lost my balance multiple times which means not only are you distracting me but also putting me in danger of breaking my face! Nextly when you clearly can't do an advanced pose DON"T ATTEMPT TO! not only could you seriously hurt yourself because you demand too much of your body but the accompanying strain is making you breath louder than an 8 ton walrus (in MY EAR), not to mention you look stupider than if you just staying with the beginners or intermediate version. My point: STOP SHOWING OF WHEN YOU CLEARLY HAVE NOTHING TO SHOW! anywhos besides that...i've been getting stronger/more toned every day and my mood has clearly improved as well as my posture and my skin. So if you're looking for a stress free somewhat relaxing way to get your fitness on without awkward machines and expensive gym memberships maybe you should give yoga a try as it uses your own body weight for resistance, improves flexibility (i can touch my toes!!!), tones and strengthens without adding bulk, and it gives you a whole new type of body awareness...i certainly am enjoying myself :)
stay happy, healthy, and openminded because the journey is the goal
xoxo
stay happy, healthy, and openminded because the journey is the goal
xoxo
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Monday, August 8, 2011
Friday, August 5, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Monday, August 1, 2011
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
The Anger Inside or My Walls
Sometimes i build walls
sometimes they're simple sand dunes changing with the winds that tear them down or build them up
sometimes they are made of clay hardening under the sun of a heated argument and turning to a kind of cement that like a mobster i could use to make cement shoes and send my enemies to the bottom of some blue lagoon
Most of the time though they are brick walls simple tough unrelenting towards the element you wish you could call your surprise
they hurt as your knuckles scrape down their sides cutting your skin and drawing forth little rivulets of blood, abrasive like the fivestar you want to give me across my cheek
but wear at them long enough and they crumble to the red dust you can never get out of those perfect white tennis shoes you always wear.
It's the wearing down part that hurts the most because not just my walls crumble but i watch you as your hands rise to the sky in the hope that some star will take pity on you and the battles you fight every time i raise my voice towards some injustice i witness in my minds eye
sometimes they're simple sand dunes changing with the winds that tear them down or build them up
sometimes they are made of clay hardening under the sun of a heated argument and turning to a kind of cement that like a mobster i could use to make cement shoes and send my enemies to the bottom of some blue lagoon
Most of the time though they are brick walls simple tough unrelenting towards the element you wish you could call your surprise
they hurt as your knuckles scrape down their sides cutting your skin and drawing forth little rivulets of blood, abrasive like the fivestar you want to give me across my cheek
but wear at them long enough and they crumble to the red dust you can never get out of those perfect white tennis shoes you always wear.
It's the wearing down part that hurts the most because not just my walls crumble but i watch you as your hands rise to the sky in the hope that some star will take pity on you and the battles you fight every time i raise my voice towards some injustice i witness in my minds eye
Friday, July 15, 2011
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
I Get Lifted-George McCrae(1974)
does anyone know the australian singer that covers this song? oh and more importantly i love this song and found it again :)
Monday, July 11, 2011
Looking at the photographs makes me think of old loves
loves that had potential and if only i had followed up on them they might have blossomed like cherry trees in the midst of the uncertainty of spring
loves that were as broad as the endless summer sky and as specific as the number on my door
loves that developed out of friendships i seem to be losing
The night is a false friend and makes me regret that which never happened and makes me think of the if only's and never happenings
but i'm getting better all the time and the chase is what keeps me going
loves that had potential and if only i had followed up on them they might have blossomed like cherry trees in the midst of the uncertainty of spring
loves that were as broad as the endless summer sky and as specific as the number on my door
loves that developed out of friendships i seem to be losing
The night is a false friend and makes me regret that which never happened and makes me think of the if only's and never happenings
but i'm getting better all the time and the chase is what keeps me going
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Monday, July 4, 2011
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Friday, July 1, 2011
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Friday, June 17, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
my foodie creations of late...
So since i've been cooking and all that i wanted to tell yall about tonights dinner before i eat it :)
In african cuisine they use a lot of pâte d'arachide (peanut paste) as it is a main export into the western world and so i decided why not...sounds delicious.
I cut up about half of half of an onion and crushed 4 cloves of garlic and threw that in a pan with olive oil. I let that sit until it was all nice and golden and then i proceeded to add about 3 big table spoons of peanut butter (a low calorie one preferably) and mixed it around with a spatula forming a sauce. Then i seasoned it with a mexican chili mix and let it simmer on low flame while i washed my shrimp ( in this case i used jumbo cocktail shrimp). I then added the shrimp and let the whole thing marinate while stirring it every so often. after about 6-7 min you're good to go!!!! Enjoy :)
TIPS:
these would be a great appetizer for a summer garden party, putting just enough shrimp on each plate to get the taste buds reved up and wanting more!
In african cuisine they use a lot of pâte d'arachide (peanut paste) as it is a main export into the western world and so i decided why not...sounds delicious.
I cut up about half of half of an onion and crushed 4 cloves of garlic and threw that in a pan with olive oil. I let that sit until it was all nice and golden and then i proceeded to add about 3 big table spoons of peanut butter (a low calorie one preferably) and mixed it around with a spatula forming a sauce. Then i seasoned it with a mexican chili mix and let it simmer on low flame while i washed my shrimp ( in this case i used jumbo cocktail shrimp). I then added the shrimp and let the whole thing marinate while stirring it every so often. after about 6-7 min you're good to go!!!! Enjoy :)
TIPS:
these would be a great appetizer for a summer garden party, putting just enough shrimp on each plate to get the taste buds reved up and wanting more!
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Friday, May 27, 2011
Summer Job...THIS GIRL!
So i finally broke into the statistic and got a summer job despite thinking it would never happen.
I'm working at a lovely antique book store this summer and could not ask for a better job. I get to spend my time taking care of antiques as well as new books and today was my first day.
It was kind of nerve wracking learning all the sections and the search system as well as the registers and by no means to i know where everything is or how it all works yet but in time i will...hopefully :-)
I also was put in charge of their social networking sites and have been appointed as caretaker of the drama alcove which houses a variety of plays and books on acting as well as volumes of monologues. After that probably my second favorite section would be the cookbook aisle for obvious reasons ;-)
I'm really stoked and have already been asked to work next week... I feel like i'm getting things together whoohoo!
xoxo
L.
I'm working at a lovely antique book store this summer and could not ask for a better job. I get to spend my time taking care of antiques as well as new books and today was my first day.
It was kind of nerve wracking learning all the sections and the search system as well as the registers and by no means to i know where everything is or how it all works yet but in time i will...hopefully :-)
I also was put in charge of their social networking sites and have been appointed as caretaker of the drama alcove which houses a variety of plays and books on acting as well as volumes of monologues. After that probably my second favorite section would be the cookbook aisle for obvious reasons ;-)
I'm really stoked and have already been asked to work next week... I feel like i'm getting things together whoohoo!
xoxo
L.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Things to check out...
LUSH- organic skincare & bathcare
personal favorites: Vanilla in the Mist bathbar, Mask of Magnaminty (facemask), Godiva solid shampoo, Gorgeous moisturizer, Ocean Salt scrub, Lemony Flutter cuticle butter
Essie nailpolish
Personal favorites: Mesmerizing, BBF, Coral Reef
O.P.I nailpolish
Personal favorites: Elephantastic pink, Malaga wine, Louvre me louvre me not, Steady as She Rose, Sweet Memories, Sephora by O.P.I Metro Chic
Perfect for summer :)
personal favorites: Vanilla in the Mist bathbar, Mask of Magnaminty (facemask), Godiva solid shampoo, Gorgeous moisturizer, Ocean Salt scrub, Lemony Flutter cuticle butter
Essie nailpolish
Personal favorites: Mesmerizing, BBF, Coral Reef
O.P.I nailpolish
Personal favorites: Elephantastic pink, Malaga wine, Louvre me louvre me not, Steady as She Rose, Sweet Memories, Sephora by O.P.I Metro Chic
Perfect for summer :)
Monday, May 23, 2011
Cooking...making things up and throwing them in pans
I've been trying to get healthier
I've attempted many times but somehow always failed and I think i've figured out why
My goal has always been to lose weight, ever since i started highschool and realizing that most of the girls were all rail thin and always were looked at more than what i would deem to be a regularly shaped girl with curves, so i've changed my viewpoint from losing weight to simply getting fit.
I've started doing yoga which i find brings me more joy than running outside or on a treadmill like a hamster, and I've started cooking which i think might be incentive to help me realize what i eat. So no chips, no fried foods, no unhealthy snacking. Basically anything in a plastic bag i can't see through is a no-no. This is quite daunting since usually my mom cooks but since they're leaving me alone for 2.5 weeks i need to learn how to not fall into the good old patterns of take out and fast food, plus COOKING IS FUN! so far i've made sweet/sour fish tacos and quesadillas but unlike the fast food version i've been using fresh vegetables and olive oil as well as preparing raw chicken for the first time (!!!) and discovering banana peppers. Salad has become a friend instead of a fiend and i'm hoping to tackle pizza with homemade dough and maybe even bake my own bread. Also i've been wanting to try fish dishes, with salmon or shrimp. It's all very ambitious but so far so good. As to immediate changes at the beginning of week 2: I've noticed that my skin has cleared up considerably, and my mood has improved as well (i'm not as cranky or easily annoyed). This is my motivation, that and maybe learning a bit more about myself in the process. I'll check in every once in a while when the mood strikes me or if i've discovered something really delicious sitting on my plate that i need to tell you about. Other than that...Happy Cooking!
PS: it's not as hard as mom makes it look and it can be just as delicious but most of all have fun with it and do crazy things like using only whats in your fridge at this very moment or simply putting things together like it's a puzzle :)
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Realizing I'm slowly falling
i don't know to where...Maybe down some rabbit hole where time stands still and our actions could never haunt us
truth is I'm falling for you
i don't want to
you're my best friend but then again people say it's easy to fall in love with your friends because they already know you
i wish you didn't
I wish you weren't so nice and charming and understanding because that just makes it harder to pull away and i don't want to but i see no other option
i will break your heart I know it and i can't help it so i guess this is my attempt at an apology for whats about to happen
i don't know to where...Maybe down some rabbit hole where time stands still and our actions could never haunt us
truth is I'm falling for you
i don't want to
you're my best friend but then again people say it's easy to fall in love with your friends because they already know you
i wish you didn't
I wish you weren't so nice and charming and understanding because that just makes it harder to pull away and i don't want to but i see no other option
i will break your heart I know it and i can't help it so i guess this is my attempt at an apology for whats about to happen
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Adjusting to life in these 4 walls has been decidedly difficult, more so than i imagined. I was hoping for an oasis but you can only look at the same freaking palm trees with the same coconuts and pond of water for so long. GET ME OUT! on the other hand i had a marvelous day today because my mom didn't hog the car and so i went out for a little drive in about 4 months, didn't kill anyone, bought a new nailpolish, and went for a walk by the canal which seemed like a jungle because of all the wonderful (or not so much) rain, going along with my exotic tropical theme. I realized that i do miss the independence of being able to catch a bus downtown (even if they do make you terribly nauseous), or simply walking across campus to see a friend instead of having to call and make sure and plan and and and. What i don't miss is dhall, opting instead for a cookbook and the 10 aisles of my grocery store as well as the ingredients of a sparsely stocked fridge. I have a job interview next week which im decidedly nervous about but my mom told me to just use my natural charm...i'd better find that one soon then :-)
A wee problem...I'm decidedly lacking motivation in the workout department and sunday is my first check in...Someone send me some common sense or scare me with the thought of death by sugar or an apocalypse either one works!
A wee problem...I'm decidedly lacking motivation in the workout department and sunday is my first check in...Someone send me some common sense or scare me with the thought of death by sugar or an apocalypse either one works!
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Last post of the school year
Lately it's been a tough lesson in the meaning of goodbyes and realizing that 7 little letters do make a difference. Realizing that with that word a lot changes and that even though you thought that certain people didn't have that big of a part of your life they've become indispensable to it. Realizing that half of an empty room is worse than just an empty room because you're still in it with your foot in the door. Wishing you'd planned this out better. Crying because you don't know what else to do and because the release is the only thing that you can think of right now.
Going over memories and realizing that this change was inevitable especially with different departure dates but still missing them all terribly...
Going over memories and realizing that this change was inevitable especially with different departure dates but still missing them all terribly...
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
The Near Future
Recently I've wanted to leave
Take a trip without the planning
An old map that's never used crumpled on the back seat between the duffle bags and the case of water bottles that will last approximately 5 minutes in this heat
The steering wheel burning itself into your hands, molding underneath them
Just get in a car and drive down an open road with the occasional turn signal used as i pick and choose my exits
I'm itching to peel off this skin like old clothes and take on new ones preferably of adventure and fearlessness
Instead welcome to suburbia flashes in my eyes like a neon sign so cheerfully does, inviting me for a look at everything i could be, won't be, don't want to be
I already see myself on the I-95 heading south to warmer weather and freshly cut lawns with perfect houses, sprinklers in the front yard, with perfect children and Stepford Wives and sunday outings in the family van.
NO INDEPENDENCE without a car, and even then it only lasts as long as you keep moving.
Shackled by the seatbelt of life i can only feel the breeze from the window that's rolled down where nothing but the keynotes of national public radio escape.
The Smell of Summer also known as tar, leather seats, and a garage waking up from hibernation manifests itself in my nose
i realize i'm back where i started and everything is the same but not entirely and i feel like a cardboard cut-out, a guest, restricted to accepting change
Take a trip without the planning
An old map that's never used crumpled on the back seat between the duffle bags and the case of water bottles that will last approximately 5 minutes in this heat
The steering wheel burning itself into your hands, molding underneath them
Just get in a car and drive down an open road with the occasional turn signal used as i pick and choose my exits
I'm itching to peel off this skin like old clothes and take on new ones preferably of adventure and fearlessness
Instead welcome to suburbia flashes in my eyes like a neon sign so cheerfully does, inviting me for a look at everything i could be, won't be, don't want to be
I already see myself on the I-95 heading south to warmer weather and freshly cut lawns with perfect houses, sprinklers in the front yard, with perfect children and Stepford Wives and sunday outings in the family van.
NO INDEPENDENCE without a car, and even then it only lasts as long as you keep moving.
Shackled by the seatbelt of life i can only feel the breeze from the window that's rolled down where nothing but the keynotes of national public radio escape.
The Smell of Summer also known as tar, leather seats, and a garage waking up from hibernation manifests itself in my nose
i realize i'm back where i started and everything is the same but not entirely and i feel like a cardboard cut-out, a guest, restricted to accepting change
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Crashing
I feel overwhelmed. Like elephants treading lightly on my shoulder and crushing me like mountains do. I'm sad at the thought of losing things faster than i find them. I'm scared of the mirror that shows my true face, one of cowardice and regret, a beautiful fall from grace. Disappointment that deadlines are lines carved in time restricting me to desperate thought, consuming my mind and etching themselves like acid. I feel trapped by expectation as it corners me and forces me into action with its iron fist it has kindly named society. I'm tired whether from lack of sleep or the fact that my mind doesn't shut off once my eyes close. Wishing i could sit on a hill somewhere and stare at stars but here there's too much clutter for me to see clearly and one day isn't enough to clear the room that i've become...
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Monday, April 18, 2011
TALK TO ME!
Feeling restless and unsettled. Like i need to figure something out and i don't know what that is, like need to talk to someone before all goes to shit but thinking not yet... Need to get my head on straight and communicate with real actual words, turning the stabs into stings that barely hurt because words can do that; they numb themselves like ice cubes numb a burn. I feel like if only we engaged our minds when we use our lips to form vowels and consonants we'd realize that this constant unease slips away like the rain washes away chalk doodles on the sidewalk of a summer afternoon just in time for new imaginations to take hold. Please be so bold that you can't help but tell me what you really think because trust me my heart wont shrink and my mind can only grow if you show me what goes on outside your box of CORRECT because from now on CORRECT IS WRONG and I want the truth. The kind that builds trust because it must and otherwise everything is lost no hope for a real dope to fuel an intoxicating conversation. because really that's all i want. A CONVERSATION BETWEEN TWO HUMANS ABOUT ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. it won't matter who we are or where we're from, only that moment to build on will be our evidence that for a moment in time we were honest even if it scared us out of our minds and comfort zones. Once that happens i'll grant you the drone of the everyday machine but until that happens trust me, i'll keep pushing until you open your eyes and start dreaming!
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
So...Work?
Been having a shit time lately but today things finallystarted looking up... maybe it's cause i played this song for literally 30 min when i got home
Monday, April 4, 2011
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
This is what it's all about
Sitting in the dining hall and spewing about life followed by chilling with friends...this is incredible <3
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Back to school....
So after a few extra days at home i'm getting on a train for 5 hours tomorrow and going back to school.
It's gonna be great and stuff but lately i've found I'm kind of over the people i've been hanging out with i guess. Maybe i'll hang out with some new ones... oh and there's the matter of not going out this weekend...yea not a lot just a little maybe like saturday night until 2 hahaha
It's gonna be great and stuff but lately i've found I'm kind of over the people i've been hanging out with i guess. Maybe i'll hang out with some new ones... oh and there's the matter of not going out this weekend...yea not a lot just a little maybe like saturday night until 2 hahaha
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Post Birthday Blues...?
So i guess getting sick on your birthday is fun too...
but really today looking back on it was a great ordinary day
but what surprised me most were all the birthday well wishers like people that crawled out of the woodwork from like 5th grade art camp and college auditions as well as people i thought could care less and people i thought didn't really know i existed...? and some people who i thought wouldn't think twice never showed so it was definitely interesting but most of all i was really surprised by the amount of thoughts i got today after feeling like i didn't really matter and just to let everyone know i replied and liked every single wall post...that's what i accomplished today :)
but really today looking back on it was a great ordinary day
but what surprised me most were all the birthday well wishers like people that crawled out of the woodwork from like 5th grade art camp and college auditions as well as people i thought could care less and people i thought didn't really know i existed...? and some people who i thought wouldn't think twice never showed so it was definitely interesting but most of all i was really surprised by the amount of thoughts i got today after feeling like i didn't really matter and just to let everyone know i replied and liked every single wall post...that's what i accomplished today :)
Monday, March 14, 2011
Happy Birthday To...ME :)
so in about 4 hours i'm officially going to be 19...wow
really it's not that special cause i'm not 18 which was like WOAH I"M LEGAL or 21 which is like I"M NOT UNDERAGE so really this and 20 are like the awkward cousins you see at family reunions but don't really talk to that much...it's just not gonna be that exciting i feel like.
it's stupid but every year i hope for some kind of change on my birthday like i'm gonna all of a sudden look like Heidi Klum or have snakes for hair like Medusa but those things seem to not really want to appear. I guess part of it is being an only child and having spent your birthday with your parents almost every year to the point where it's like a nice breakfast followed by a fancy dinner and then well... the day's over and you look in the mirror and realize that I'm still me. Like other kids have siblings or their grandparents come with the extended family in tow but mine live really far away so celebrating my birthday is kind of a small affair. You'd think going to college and making more friends would change that but i have a nack for picking people that live on the other side of the country, so all i get are more facebook wall posts than last year or less...you never know. I guess i feel a bit lost as to what today's purpose is and i kinda want it to be super special but i know it won't be and that's bothering me...
really it's not that special cause i'm not 18 which was like WOAH I"M LEGAL or 21 which is like I"M NOT UNDERAGE so really this and 20 are like the awkward cousins you see at family reunions but don't really talk to that much...it's just not gonna be that exciting i feel like.
it's stupid but every year i hope for some kind of change on my birthday like i'm gonna all of a sudden look like Heidi Klum or have snakes for hair like Medusa but those things seem to not really want to appear. I guess part of it is being an only child and having spent your birthday with your parents almost every year to the point where it's like a nice breakfast followed by a fancy dinner and then well... the day's over and you look in the mirror and realize that I'm still me. Like other kids have siblings or their grandparents come with the extended family in tow but mine live really far away so celebrating my birthday is kind of a small affair. You'd think going to college and making more friends would change that but i have a nack for picking people that live on the other side of the country, so all i get are more facebook wall posts than last year or less...you never know. I guess i feel a bit lost as to what today's purpose is and i kinda want it to be super special but i know it won't be and that's bothering me...
Saturday, March 12, 2011
HOME
So i've realized that lately i've been a bit homesick at school and now finally being home after 2 long train rides is right where i need to be to put myself back together. Walking through the front door/garage i felt like i finally took the biggest breath and filled my lungs with love and support and warmth which sometimes isn't the easiest thing to do when you start living on your own. It's funny but i tell myself on a daily basis that college life and being independent is the greatest thing that ever happened to me but today i realized how nice a hug can be...no questions asked just unconditional love and i'm so grateful to have that.
xoxo
oh and that's mom's favorite song <3
xoxo
oh and that's mom's favorite song <3
Friday, March 11, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
The beginning
I don't really know how you start these things but here it goes...
I've decided that I want write about anything, anyone, and that maybe I can help someone, somewhere figure out something. I realize this is kind of a vague goal but really there is no goal, I'm going with the flow just as much as you are and I'm just waiting to see what happens. There are no time limits or space limits, it's simply an experiment with unpredictable results...
Here's a toast to the beginning :)
I've decided that I want write about anything, anyone, and that maybe I can help someone, somewhere figure out something. I realize this is kind of a vague goal but really there is no goal, I'm going with the flow just as much as you are and I'm just waiting to see what happens. There are no time limits or space limits, it's simply an experiment with unpredictable results...
Here's a toast to the beginning :)
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