LifesPersistentQuestions: April 2011

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Crashing

I feel overwhelmed. Like elephants treading lightly on my shoulder and crushing me like mountains do. I'm sad at the thought of losing things faster than i find them. I'm scared of the mirror that shows my true face, one of cowardice and regret, a beautiful fall from grace. Disappointment that deadlines are lines carved in time restricting me to desperate thought, consuming my mind and etching themselves like acid. I feel trapped by expectation as it corners me and forces me into action with its iron fist it has kindly named society. I'm tired whether from lack of sleep or the fact that my mind doesn't shut off once my eyes close. Wishing i could sit on a hill somewhere and stare at stars but here there's too much clutter for me to see clearly and one day isn't enough to clear the room that i've become...

Monday, April 18, 2011

TALK TO ME!

Feeling restless and unsettled. Like i need to figure something out and i don't know what that is, like need to talk to someone before all goes to shit but thinking not yet... Need to get my head on straight and communicate with real actual words, turning the stabs into stings that barely hurt because words can do that; they numb themselves like ice cubes numb a burn. I feel like if only we engaged our minds when we use our lips to form vowels and consonants we'd realize that this constant unease slips away like the rain washes away chalk doodles on the sidewalk of a summer afternoon just in time for new imaginations to take hold. Please be so bold that you can't help but tell me what you really think because trust me my heart wont shrink and my mind can only grow if you show me what goes on outside your box of CORRECT because from now on CORRECT IS WRONG and I want the truth. The kind that builds trust because it must and otherwise everything is lost no hope for a real dope to fuel an intoxicating conversation. because really that's all i want. A CONVERSATION BETWEEN TWO HUMANS ABOUT ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. it won't matter who we are or where we're from, only that moment to build on will be our evidence that for a moment in time we were honest even if it scared us out of our minds and comfort zones. Once that happens i'll grant you the drone of the everyday machine but until that happens trust me, i'll keep pushing until you open your eyes and start dreaming!